Here, There, Everywhere

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“I’m just not where I want to be,” there was a hint of frustration in her voice. “I really expected to be much further along in my career.”herethere

I was having morning coffee with a friend.

“Where did you think you’d be?” I’m always fascinated when I hear anyone say this because I visit there often; I take stock of where I am in life and wonder if there’s something more I could be doing.

“Not here,” she retorted, staring at the table. “I’ve come a long way, but I know there’s something more for me…there just is.” She thoughtfully traced the rim of her mug with her finger tip.

We sat comfortably in silence for a few minutes. 

“Where is here?” I asked leaning forward not actually expecting an answer; I wasn’t sure how she saw her present situation.

Here is…” her voice trailed. “Here is…I don’t know where here is.” She chuckled quietly.

“So how do know where you want to be if you don’t know where you are?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she relented to the question and chuckled again like I guessed her secret.

“I walked right into that one.”

“Yea, you kinda did.

We laughed.

“Let’s start over,” I raised my hands in a gesture to suggest we take a pause. “Let’s talk about what’s really frustrating you.”  

My friend described her desire to move up the corporate ladder in her company but wasn’t sure how to create an opportunity. As she continued to talk, it reminded me of conversations I’ve had with other friends about the same topic. I call it the journey; others might call it the what-am-I-doing-with-my-life talk.

It’s perfectly normal to think about where you are and where you want to be, but not too many of us dwell on what it takes to get there.  

Have you ever been passionate about obtaining a dream but to make it a reality requires just one step forward– one seemingly simple act of faith and it’s yours?

But you’re too afraid to move forward.

Or you just don’t know how to get there.

And you know that going back is not an option.

I’m learning that usually there are only a few obstacles that stand in our way: fear, guilt, doubt, and shame. And once we openly and honestly acknowledge those feelings, then and only then are we able to move forward.

You acknowledge its presence; these feelings do not go away.

I’ll let you know if they ever do.

They in turn go along for the ride… but in my experience if I’m driving, I focus on enjoying the journey, and I use those feelings as motivators and not allow them to detract me.  

My friend realized that she did want to climb the corporate ladder but not their ladder; it was leaning against the wrong building.

Imagine that, she knew where here was all along.

15 thoughts on “Here, There, Everywhere

  1. Abrielle Valencia

    Such great insight and once again an awesome blog! At one point I was frustrated with my situation in the workplace…wait! That’s me now. Hahaha! Anyway, I am taking the necessary steps to enhance my career. However, once upon a time I had no idea where I wanted to go. I wasn’t happy with “here”, but I didn’t know where “there” was. Now I know where “there” is; it’s just the process of getting “there”. Hope that made sense! LOL. It’s late and I just left my class. Thanks for posting this! 🙂

  2. Jacinta Moultrie

    I know I’m not alone, as there have been moments when I’ve felt exactly the same way. I have come to the realization that we create this plan for ourselves, and fail to realize there are roadblocks that must be in place to create the strong individuals we need to become. I know my career path is absolutely not what I’d envisioned so many years ago (during that planning stage); however, when I think of all the lives I’ve touched and how others have benefitted–that wasn’t in my planning either. I will never stop reaching for those career goals, but I’ll also never underestimate my worth

    • That’s wonderful! I love how you acknowledge the serendipitous blessings along the way. The beautiful thing about the journey is that it’s not set in stone, we can change if we need/want to…we define our successes.

  3. I’ve changed my path so many times I understand perfectly why I feel like I run in circles 😉
    But you make a good point – and I’ll add to it: it’s tough to make the right choices about one’s future, if you have not given thought to the choices that got you where you are (here) in the first place.

    • Insightful as usual, Astra. I thought I was traveling down one path and realized that I wasn’t where I thought I was or where I thought I was suppose to be. Finding “here” was an enriching (and sometimes unpleasant) experience.

  4. So true! For me, I’ve realized that I have to figure out what “there” looks like to have any inkling of what “here” means. It needs a context to make sense of it. I’m in a stage of a lot upheaval right now but very soon it will be time to figure out “there” so I can get out of “here!”

    • This is awesome. I’m amazed at how few of us actually take time to figure this out. And even as we travel to “there” we say we’ll figure it out as we go along. Thanks for stopping by, please visit again.

  5. Dorthula

    Perfect segue into the ‘life assessments’ that many of us start during this time of year! Thank you for being a thoughtful blogger! Peace & Blessings

  6. true words, but I think we all need to address why we got “lost” in our journey in the first place. Typically, we all have goals, but once we reach a certain point and get comfortable, we lose sight of them. I’m a firm believer that contentment and complacency are the most common killers of dreams and goals.

    • Yes, I agree those play a significant role in our journey. Life’s little tangents are suppose to temporary …sometimes we find comfort in the tangents and forget about the goal. Thanks for stopping by.

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