“That’s not true!” I jibbed. “Let me tell you what really happened.”
The room was full of warmth and laughter. Full bellies and empty plates, this was the Thanksgiving I’d remember for a long time. This sentiment was a far cry from the conversation I exchanged with my Hubs days before departure…
“I don’t really want to go,” I was adamant. Hopefully the languid expression on my face made my point. My Hubs seemed unmoved.
“We really should, we need to spend as much time as we can with the family,” he pointed out. “Besides, how often do you really get to spend with them?”
He was right. He’s always right. I, however, was perfectly content with staying at home. It’s been a brutal month. Full of to-do lists that still need completing, a dream board that’s turned into a nightmare and a nagging exhaustion that has yet to go away.
I’m burnt out.
I wanted to keep still. Drink hot tea in my PJs, wrapped in a warm blanket and indulge in a few books and magazines that I’ve been longing to read for a while.
Although the possibility of getting much deserved “me time” was comforting, the anticipated conversation with my family was so disconcerting the thought of even a fleeting respite quickly vanished. I could hear them now:
“What do you mean you’re not coming?”
“Sure we understand [long sigh] well, maybe next year.”
“Wow, well you know we never really see you guys.”
I decided to spare the drama and pack the car. It was the best decision I made, err Hubs made.
You know how wonderful things sometimes happen when least expected? Well. . .
I enjoyed a long bike ride with my baby sister – I haven’t ridden a bike in about 15 years (stationary bikes don’t count).
I played Pictionary with my family – I dusted off the old drawing skills, didn’t do too shabby if I say so myself.
I watched a children’s classic movie with my kids – I never get tired of hearing Burt Ives sing Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer.
I enjoyed a little comic relief with the Hubs – although the drive wasn’t too long, the time went quickly with his company.
I didn’t overeat on Thanksgiving. I’m actually quite proud of that. I’m enrolled in a fitness bootcamp class (I’ll have to tell you more about that later)…and I just didn’t want to ruin it. I’ve worked extremely hard over the past several weeks.
And finally, I reconnected with an estranged relative. I think this was the most remarkable part of it all. It’s amazing what you can learn about other people by actually sitting down and having a chat to hear their side. It’s even MORE amazing what you can learn about yourself. I had the chance to see me through their eyes – the experience was cathartic and revealing. I’m not saying that we left altogether reconciled, but the door is definitely ajar and opportunities now exist for more dialogue. I’m looking forward to it.
So while I’m still burnt out, at least I’m a lot merrier and thankful. I’m working toward closure and embracing the closeness of my family.