The Not-So-Easy Button


Do you accept all of the friend requests you receive on Facebook? I recently received an interesting request from a person that made the last year of my college experience an absolute nightmare. There really should be a button for “Hell-to-the-naw” or “Yeah, right” not just “Ignore.” Something direct, something final, something that says: I may have moved on, but I didn’t forget what you did, mofo. I’m fascinated when this occurs. It has happened a few times before… where I receive an out of the blue correspondence from a person I thought I’d never hear from again – good riddance – at least I thought  I was rid of them.

I do realize that people have the ability to change as time does. Things that happened in the past should remain there, right? Those past experiences shape who we are today — good, bad or indifferent– they were a part of our journeys.  

There are many-many life lessons I’ve learned by being lied about, bullied, pestered and even verbally abused. Do I willingly go to my antagonizers to say, “oh, thank you, you’ve taught me a valuable lesson?”  Hell no. I wouldn’t say a thing but I did learn some things. I learned that people do come into our lives for a season, sometimes it is to teach us things and then other times there are those that appear out of sheer convenience or circumstance. Some lie, cheat and even steal to make themselves look good at your expense. Scott Peck  says that they are a “person of the lie”, they even lie to themselves.

I decided against accepting the request. My response to the friend request was, “Thanks for reaching out. I hope that you’re doing well.”  And I do wish them well and I do thank them, that was an easy decision.

3 thoughts on “The Not-So-Easy Button

  1. Marla

    I could not agree more. I find it amazing that the world of Facebook seems to have blurred the lines that normal social boundaries establish. In my opinion, one should never “friend” a person that they would not be willing to make contact through a traditional phone call or snail mail letter. When I consider friending a person, if I am not answer no to that question, I move on.

  2. Congratulations on your first anniversary of blogging! I like to peruse the archives when I visit a blog for the first time. I get a better sense of your journey that way. Came here via SheWrites.

    Love your idea of a “hell to the naw” FB button. When I opened my FB personal account the first thing I did was look up and block at least five former co-workers and bosses who have done me deliberate harm and never considered apologizing. They were just that self-involved. I was always civil and professionally courteous to them while we worked together, but I resolved that once the work relationship ended they would never have access to me. So right on, I share your personal philosophy of “I may have moved on, but I’ll never forget what you did, mofo!”

    Clearing my present of my past negatives enables me to maintain a grateful, happy outlook.

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