our stories. our journeys. our truths
I’m a slacker, I admit it. I have a tendency to sit on things until the last possible second. It’s a gift, what can I say. I have somehow duped myself into believing that I perform better under stress, that waiting until the final moment ensures that the very thing I’ve been avoiding will get done. Well duh. Of course it’ll get done, but what about the unnecessary anxiety I caused myself leading up to the actual completion of the task? Not to mention the poor souls that had to endure my bellyaching about how I’ve been procrastinating. (Yes, I actually complained that I was procrastinating, I told you it’s a gift).
Worse still for the things that I did not get around to, the shame I felt when someone asked me: “Hey, how did such-and-so turn out?” Or “Did you ever do this, that, and the other?” Sadly, I did nothing. In fact, I use to tell my friends that I wanted to start a magazine. The idea came to me many years ago when I was a coed in j-school. I had an editorial plan. I had story ideas. I even had a mock-up. But somewhere between “I’m starting a magazine” and “I’m still working on it” a decade passed. Sure there was my education, my career, my love life, my social life. Now it’s my kids, their education, their activities, my husband, my career and a host of other things. Whew! – that’s a lot of bellyaching.
I know the issue isn’t black and white, there’s a lot of work involved in building a family and career. I can recall at the beginning of 2010, I set out with some resolutions that waned over time. I did some serious introspection and while I knew what I wanted to do, I wasn’t sure how to make it happen or if I really wanted to do it all. It started out like this:
January - Resolutions. Check. Motivation. Check.
February – Resolutions. Check. Motivation. Chhhhheeeeck.
March – Resolutions. Hmmm. Okay, motivated to revise resolutions.
April – Resolutions still need revising. Thinking about it.
May – Still thinking.
June - Still thinking, I think.
July – What was I suppose to be doing?
August - Oh yeah oh yeah, I’m back. R-e-s-o-l-u-t-i-o-n-s. Check.
September – Resolutions, schme-solutions.
October – Oh snap!
November – Too cold for resolutions.
December – Took the first step toward accomplishing my 2010 resolutions and (bonus) the 10 year magazine thingy that loomed over my head has been started (you’re reading it).
I can’t let another 10 years pass me by. Hey, so it’s not The Oprah Magazine, yet—anyways, but it’s a start. I look forward to see where this leads me. That reminds me, I think I’ll amend my 2010 resolution list: Stop procrastinating. Check.
Happy New Year!